So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
