Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
