But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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