I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I can't turn off my feet"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
