but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
