apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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