Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
