went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
