I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
