im drinking this country out of the recession.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
