Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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