I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
