i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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