Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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