ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
