I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
