The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
