i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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