I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
