i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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