okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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