He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
