Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
