Already got asked if we're dating
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
