He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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