no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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