i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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