So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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