discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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