Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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