Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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