Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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