mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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