This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
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