...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
