I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
