New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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