Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
