I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
