haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
