you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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