Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I fill condoms, not promises.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
