I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
do nipples grow back?
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