I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
