I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
