i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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