I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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