We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
