remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
