I must be too annoying 4 u.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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