it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
