i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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