I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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