Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
